winter bloom

winter waited to arrive this year. as a result the magnolias are in full bloom. their sturdy petals and vibrant colors, splash the sky against the knobby limbs they grow from. it is easy to see life full all around. i see it in every flower blooming, and the surprisingly pleasant smiles of glazed humans awaiting the grey. winter lends hand to pensive process and internal growth through hibernation. i love the magnolia flowers in their own time, but i wish for bare limbed days of blank stares and the freedom to be introspective without explanation. as the winter blooms, i wait longingly for spring storms and petals blown across asphalt streets. if seasons have flipped then i look forward for spring, and summer is going to bring a lot of new life to autumn. every season brings new changes. today i choose to deliberately smile with wide-eyes, anticipating the discovery of what i am learning about life.

blue eyes

i wore a blue shirt today. it was a blue shirt kind of day. full of bright blue sky and water reflecting blue off the distant shore. i rarely wear blue. it isn't that i dislike the color. i think periwinkle is my favorite hue of blue. all the men on my father's side have blue eyes including my brothers and me. there are always silly remarks made about how blue is a dangerous color for us to wear because it makes our eyes show off and that could get us into some trouble. my eyes aren't the same blue as the rest of the men in my family line. my grandma had hazel colored eyes on my mother's side and i have a yellow ring around my eyes that makes the blue more of a grey or periwinkle. my eyes have never gotten me into trouble, but they are blue. i don't wear blue very often, but it was a blue shirt kind of day. the shirt was more of a periwinkle hue of blue. i guess my eyes showed off a little, but it was from gazing into the sky, thinking a lot about sailing, and heaven. it was a good day to be brave, fully live, and let my blue eyes see all the blue of today.

sleepless indeed.

Sleepless Night

by Tiziano Thomas Dossena

A sleepless night Spent struggling Through the meanders of my mind In endless explorations. Innumerable considerations Scattered around As stars in the sky None with enough light Of its own But adaptable In their interconnection To show me the way. The harmony of the universe Confined for a moment in the boundaries of my head explodes in its beauty. The thirst for knowledge Has kneeled At my need of sensations. Bittersweet memories Erase all the powerful thoughts Leaving a proven soul Sighing in an exhausted body. The dread of the night Has subsided And a sudden warmth Has overtaken me. While the first sunbeam Sneaks through the window I remember how to sleep.

it is strange when your thoughts in the early hours of a new day are cluttered by the days past and wonders of days ahead. my mind seems to give way to weariness just in time to greet the sun. i sleep for a spell and the day begins. half full i continue on. i am not discouraged, just tired. i am at peace in sleeplessness. rest will come in the morning.

Dimly Seeing

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."


i wear glasses more often these days
when i look closely in the mirror i see lines
lines of laughter and mind altering pain
when i focus in i see time and tattered skin
as my eyes move away and look beyond
light splashes across my cheekbone
what is this life that invades time?

straining to focus beyond the thistle and brier
the golden glimmer pulls at my present
longing fills me with aching hope
possibility of time moved beyond moments
longing to see ahead in focus i stare
i intently look for what is missing
what do i do with what i can faintly see?

i live present with longing to fully see.

Solstice to Solstice (8.13) :: LIGHT

"For with you is the fountain of life: in your light do we see light." Psalms 36: 9

"we see light"- i think of heaven and the gloaming. i think of Mike dancing, spinning, sipping with friends. i think of firelight flickering. i think of Mike's red hair sparkling from the lamp light. i think of hours spent sitting together, laughing, talking, honestly sharing. i think of hope. that's where it began. i think of dusk drives home after one hour visits that turned into three hours. as the light lends way to the the dark, i think how sweet light is.

Light

light illuminates so many things

the glistening brow of friend

the sweat smudge from the bridge pad of his glasses

the shine of his white teeth

glistening when he head tilt smiles

his eyes sparkling  with joy when his daughter enters the room

the flop of his hair as he moves his head to see his bride

there is light in his eyeful joy expressed

light illuminates so much

Mike basks in light.

written 02.11.12

Solstice to Solstice (7.13) :: SLUMBER

"He would lie in bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it." -Ernest Hemingway

Forest Found Freedom :: "barefoot amongst the leaves."

Walk away quietly in any direction and taste the freedom of the mountaineer. Camp out among the grasses and gentians of glacial meadows, in craggy garden nooks full of nature's darlings. Climb the mountains and get their good tidings, Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but nature's sources never fail.

John Muir - Our National Parks (1901)

My youngest was born of the forest and it is here that she dwells fully alive and present to everything happening around her. Without prompting or permission she removes her shoes and walks barefoot amongst the leaves. The sunlight dances about the branches and cast shadows on the forest floor. Like a game of hopscotch my daughter jumps from one light square to another. As I venture away from the forest, I carry it within me. It is in the forest that I dwell fully alive and present to everything happening around me. I am her father. She holds the forest sacred as I do. It speaks to us in a language only some hear and very few understand. The God whispers, and spirit giggles that carry throughout, are carried within us. Go into the forest and let the good tidings and warmth of sun bathe you in the Glory gifted you in that moment, and remember it when the forest is not near, so that you always return, and invite a friend to discover themselves again. It is in the forest that we are truly found. Truly free.