anticipation

it is 1:50am and my family gets home today. they have been gone for quite sometime. i cannot wait to hear about all of their adventures. the house has been cleaned. there was a lot i hoped to do while my family was gone, but i lost the mental list in the first week. honestly, i have just been treading water, waiting for them to return. my hopes are quite high for our reunion. i am anticipating a lot of long hugs, endless stories by ocean, just want to be near me from elli, and  i'm all about dad phoenix. i anticipate an adjusting for sarah and i. we are quite independent and it takes us a little bit of time to find our groove, but we always do. they will be coming off of their time away and gearing up for steadiness at home, while i am full flares out on the runway, crash and burning, needing some rest. summer into fall, with so many transitions, and expectations, i find myself completely tapped. i want to be full for family, friends, and work, but the truth is, i need a mental break. something i love about having my family near is that i do not have to put on a ministry face for them, i just naturally smile when they are around. it's going to be so good to see them soon. boy, have i missed them.