Was I always dad?

After a 4 day recruiting trip to the Pacific Northwest with my oldest daughter, I find myself sitting hours after returning home, wondering if she liked the trip. I asked prodding questions to gauge her experience, but all of her answers came up neutral. I hope I was always 'dad' for her. As the days flew by, packed with recruiting, multiple interviews each day, and past staff dinners in the evenings, our time together was often in the late hours. We stayed up until 2am watching Project Runway Allstars one night, and ate jalapeno, cheese, tortilla chips. I know it is the little things that impact children the most. Even though it was a busy recruiting trip, I hope she remembers when I wrapped my arms around her while we walked the snowy street at night, or that I lifted her over a puddle, just like 'Singing In The Rain'. My job as a director is busy during recruiting season. I feel like I am always changing channels in my brain, trying to be fully present to all the people I am around. It can be so mentally tiring. I just hope I was always dad, because being present to the ones who call me 'dad' matters most. I love that we had this opportunity to be together, it was an amazing, memorable, challenging, joyful, sweet, exhausting four days, that I will cherish. If when I am old I lose some of my memories, please God let me keep this one. I want to always remember her love for snow, and her free-spirited tromping through it wherever she could find it. I remember telling someone on this trip that I am dim in comparison to the glow of my wife and daughters. Even on a chilly night in Seattle, my oldest shined. In the days to come I hope her memories of this trip become more than 'neutral' and that even though I may have been busy, she will always remember being on a trip with her dad.