last week

i got away.

what do i want?

i want to live.                                                                            i want to die.
i want to laugh.                                                                         i want to cry.
i want to learn.                                                                          i want to teach.
i want to listen.                                                                          i want to speak.
i want to like.                                                                             i want to decide.
i want to leap.                                                                            i want to fall.
i want to look.                                                                            i want to see.
i want to love.                                                                            i want to embrace.

i want a chance to experience life, dying to self, laughing out loud, crying for others, learning anew, teaching my heart, listening through traffic, speaking for the silent, liking what is me, deciding to be, leaping with risk, falling with grace, looking for God, seeing clearly, loving all, embracing my life, fully. that is what i want.

snoring

bodies strewn across the open meeting hall floor.
sleeping restlessly amongst each other.
family, friends, strangers, together.
mattresses sound with every move.
little brother cannot sleep.
big brother cares. they get a drink.
a cough. a whisper. silence. dad begins snoring.
door creaks. i am the chaperone. i am the host.
gurgling? giggles. whispers. snoring. LOUD snoring!
it is going to be a long night. more snoring. giggles.
the cycle continues. i am smiling. really long night ahead.

go to the corner

and create.

a tree and an eagle

we came from different states, different towns, different families, different friends, different. we were strangers on our own roads leading home. when our lives came together it happened so naturally. not complicated or challenging, simply fit. the skeptics were muffled out by our understanding of true love. words not spoken because there is not a language that can translate the connection of souls meant for eternity. no wish, prayer, or wonder came true, answered, or clarified. we were forever. we are forever each others unknown dandelion blown wish, distant land casted prayer, lonely room wonder. i learn each day to love life simply and walk with roots in the soil and rivers flowing through me. my wife is a tree firmly planted. her generational love for god, passed down from the nurturing touch of her father and the sturdiness of her mother allows her to hold fast to truth and allows her spirit to be made new through the river washing. i am an eagle. it is my heritage. i soar even when the world is far below me and the weather is unknown ahead. i perch alone, cautious, tattered, buffeted by life, but fully alive. together we are magnificent. my father gave me the hope to soar even when the storms sit out at sea waiting to engulf life. my mother extended her tender hand to hold when i did not know how to say i need your hand. i am thankful for what our parents have given to us, so that we might be steadfast in our love. she caught my eye one wednesday night in january 1995 and i have been caught up in life with her ever since. a soul intertwined for eternity is not difficult to find. it finds you. i believe we would have been found together without sight, words, or sound. the holy spirit does not have those bounds. we walk in the spirit. walk free. i am completely captured by god and fully embrace his spirit in me. my wife revels in his power. if you observe her, you can see it in her determined gaze, seemingly looking beyond this earth. a gaze to heaven. 
we are both walking home. whether the road home is long or short we are walking it together. we have been blessed with sight and touch in this life. eyes to show us what we might have missed, a hands to hold when we do not ask, and a soul to spur us on in spirit. we are everlasting lovers. a tree and an eagle. rooted, soaring, renewed, together. 

common posture

upward gaze, listening.

wonder surrounds me

i live in a place where awe and wonder surrounds me

wherever i walk there is something that captures my eye

a leaf floating aloft, settling on the pond

the ripple the leaf creates, sends the frogs into song

overhead a branch cracks, pulling my glance upward

between branches, a chasm of blue sky is dashed with a crow flying by

upon the forest floor ferns grow woven within the redwood trunks

steading my stair at the warm, soft, laden path a newt surprises my view

brilliant blobs of mustard yellow move slowly on their one foot

ranging from an inch to twelve the banana slugs pop off the the brown beneath them

deeper within the forest crevices are surrounded by kaleidoscope webs

safe from human interruption spiders spend time spinning webs of brilliant design

as my eyes take in the awe of nature, i wonder

is it my longing to know my creator that draws me to see, 

or is it my creators longing for me to know, 

that nature is revealed to me?