growing up

it is the week of my birth.
i wonder what my mom was thinking about?
managing 3 other children carrying me inside
in the heat of june.

june 29, 1973 i came into this world.
the vietnam war had finally ended
and the world was in it's regular disarray.
i knew nothing about it. i was new.

growing year after year i became aware.
i grew with a sensitive heart.
the years were not always easy.
some years i thought i would break.

love kept me growing.
i sat an edge of cliff in 1989 and chose life.
i live a life of love because i cannot imagine any other way.
as years pass and i grow, i see value in everyday.

i celebrate my breath.
i celebrate the blessings who walk beside me.
i celebrate a voice that stills my soul.
i celebrate the chance to sit with broken pieces
and make a mosaic of love.
growing up.

"what is love and what does it want for the other?"

Answer:

God is love.

Love designed each human with an intricate fingerprint unique to self.

Love gave itself a fingerprint to allow human hands to hold intimately.

Love looked into the eyes of humanity and absorbed all the images and feelings of past, present, and future sufferings.

Love embraced and rung out hate and left humanity standing.

Love wrapped around humanity while hates inferno engulfed all that was pure and prevented the new of humanity from being scorched.

Love survived.

Love accepts confusion with simple patience.

Love shouts in rain thrust winds when our ears are open to hear decibels that hurt.

Love allows humanity to hand hold and embrace each other after stone hearts become flesh.

Love wants us to know love and share it.

Without love we are a lifeless cinder of wreckage.

With love we are a wild iris amongst ferns.

With love I wrap my arms around new humanity.

In love I embrace you.

God is love.

I am love.

You are love.

1995

tomorrow all of the summer staff arrive. i remember the feelings i had when i walked onto the recreation field back in 1995. as a young 21 year old, i was unsure of everything and excited for my summer at camp. everyone seemed to express their arrival differently. some of the staff were returning and reuniting with warm hellos and hugs. i felt alone. i remember writing in my journal that i really wanted god to reveal why i was at camp, because i felt out of place. it was when i met my first cabin of campers that i knew why. i was here to love. tomorrow when the staff gather on the recreation field and orientation begins, i know why i am at camp. i am here to love. 1995-2011, god's purpose has not changed. some will feel the same way i did, but i will be there for them. they will meet the campers in a week and know why god has brought them here. they will love well and they will grow. we will all grow to love more. tomorrow.

heart of flesh

"i will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; i will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And i will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." ezekiel 26: 36-37

nature has a way of reminding us of a life we lived seemingly a lifetime ago. a reservoir of stones dropped at sea, tumbled in the surf and returned to shore. a graveyard of old hearts, reminders of living a life with a heart beating in rhythm  with our creator. my old heart is lost at sea. i am alive with god.

"little warrior"

"i will be the silver beard guy who whispers how much your parents love you in your ear. i will stare in awe at you and a tear may escape. i pray for you daily."










welcome to the world Wyatt. You can call me friend.

bearded and bald

i use to grow my beard in the winter. this year my vacation came in spring and so did my beard. i use to think a beard seemed unprofessional. i live and work in the redwood forest. i think my beard fits my profession nicely. i use to think i would not enjoy getting older. now i thoroughly enjoy growing old with my wife. you can learn a lot from a spouse and the lessons learned do not have to do with gender. i learned a little bit about that last week. :)

brilliant * gorgeous * talented * fabulous

"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are 
you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson