the road

there is something mystical about driving on a road
in the early hours of morning.
it gives freedom to drift into dreams awake and wonder.
alert is heightened with awareness of unknowing
what lies beyond the beams from your headlights.
i find myself vividly aware of past, present, and future.
it is restful for me to drive.
it is exciting to anticipate.
it is good for the soul
to hit the road.
it is good for the heart
to return home.

Something in common with John Adams

"As much as I converse with sages and heroes, 

they have very little of my love and admiration. 

I long for rural and domestic scene, 

for the warbling of birds 

and the prattling of my children." 

-John Adams

teach me.

"Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, O Lord, your great mercy
and love,
for they are from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O Lord."


Psalm 25: 4-7





what will i be remembered for? when i graduated from high school my greatest fear was being forgotten. as i forged my way down gumdrop lane (my life was free of trials back then), i was wide-eyed ambitious to share God's love with anyone. somehow his mercy got lost in translation and my ambition turned to arrogance. my heart became judgmental and i swerved off the lane and into my own path. still clinging to my Christian title for identity and social meter, i lost sight of the truth of God. what will i be remembered for?

today i live in one of the most majestic places on earth. the giant redwood forest surrounds my home. i can be sinking my feet in the sand and letting the whitewash of waves lap on my feet in less than forty five minutes. everywhere i look i can see God's artistry. twenty years has passed since i graduated from high school and the gumdrop lane is more of a jagged trail with turnabouts every fifty feet. i know the sting of judgement and the loss of friendships and family due to my pretentious religious youth. what will i be remembered for?

teach me. please God, continue to make me more like you. as the morning sun peeks through the fog and branches outside my living room window, i am warmed. i am reminded that God has never forgotten me. God is good. through all the many failures and triumphs years past have brought, i have hope. what will i be remembered for?

i never stopped learning.

God, teach me.

continue on.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43: 1-2

running

i run within the forest density

towering redwoods surround me

bay leaves cover the winding trail

ferns fan as i pass

leaping fallen branches

swerving around roots

navigating every step

widening my stride

picking up my pace

heart pounding

sweat sliding down my brow

the nature around me is deafened 

by the sound of my heartbeat

pushing further into the deep

the sandstone slips away underfoot

scurrying to hold ground

i scamper up the steep incline

dirt gives way

needles crack with branches

the forest envelopes me

i am lost in nature

running.

look up.

the bay leaves are floating

swaying to and fro

aloft in the breeze.

the oak worms are dangling

swinging from strings

invisible to the eye.

the canopy webs are glistening

casting rainbows from dew

left from morning.

the trees are growing moss

covering their trunks green

autumn rain remembered.

I am a Liberal, Nonviolent (most of the time).

"It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong."  -Abraham Lincoln


Just days ago we learned that President Obama had issued 100 troops to assist in removing Joseph Kony and put an end to the LRA. The verbiage has been pieced apart and the words released from Invisible Children representatives have been criticized, but the fact is, something needs to happen.

I fully understand that 100 advisory troops  can mean the green berea of the US Army if the US is staying on par with past initial global military involvement. I fully understand that there is likely to be lives lost, but there is also great potential of freedom gained. The fact of the matter is that there have been plenty of peaceful attempts to reconcile and bring Joseph Kony into custody, but they have not succeeded.

My father was amongst some of the early advisory troops sent to Vietnam. As a communication operator of the Green Berea 101 Airborne division he served to bring freedom and followed the orders of his country. He was someone's child, my mother's husband, and taxes paid for our countries involvement, but more than all of that he was a man. He desired all people to be free. A lot of American people cowered away or chose to be consumed with their opinions of our countries involvement and allowed fear to paralyze them from bringing any change. For many people that time is a blur. But my dad had courage and served his country. He desired to do the right thing and help bring freedom.

Everyday there is an opportunity to do something for others. We live in a time where information is so accessible. I am going to dare to do the right thing and have courage. As a graduate in Social Science/Alternative History, including courses in African history and history of terrorism, I fully support the necessary step to send 100 advisory troops to Uganda. I believe all other options have been attempted. Knowing the hearts of some of those who work for Invisible Children, I am proud of their labor and courage.

I am still liberal and nonviolent. I am a man who desires all people to be free. One might say, "the apple does not fall far from the tree."

i am the oldest child

i am the first born

i am a storm

i am a breeze

i am the calm

i ask questions first

i am curious

i am cautious

i am the compass

i face change first

i am scared

i am confident

i am the conquer 

i accept myself first

i am growing

i am changing

i am the caterpillar

i am the oldest child.

It's About Time: I stand with Invisible Children and support President Obama's decision to step in and help.

U.S. sending military advisors to Uganda


Obama has authorized about 100 special forces troops to deploy to Uganda and neighboring countries to help target a rebel militia leader. The U.S. troops won't engage in battle, the president says.

By Brian Bennett and Robyn Dixon, Los Angeles Times

October 15, 2011

Reporting from Washington and Johannesburg, South—

President Obama is sending about 100 special forces troops to central Africa to help target the leadership of the Lord's Resistance Army, a notorious militia that has been raping and pillaging in the remote jungles of northern Uganda and neighboring countries for more than two decades.

The first team of armed advisors arrived in Uganda on Wednesday. Over the next month, the remaining U.S. troops, most of them Army Green Berets, will be sent to Uganda and surrounding countries, including South Sudan, the Central African Republic and Congo.

In a letter notifying Congress on Friday, Obama said the goal of the U.S. mission was to assist regional African forces in removing "from the battlefield" the militia's leader, self-declared prophet Joseph Kony. But the U.S. troops will not fight unless fired upon, the letter said.

A militia known for forcing abducted children to fight and for mutilating its victims, the Lord's Resistance Army has long been condemned by the U.S. and human rights organizations for atrocities against civilians.

The militia keeps sex slaves, rapes women and has killed thousands of people. The dense jungle and lack of roads in the lawless border regions of northern Uganda have made it difficult for authorities to dismantle the rebel group and capture its messianic leader.

Sam Worthington, president of InterAction, an alliance of nongovernmental groups, said there was a clear need to stabilize the region, and he noted that the Ugandan government requested this intervention.

At the same time, Worthington, who was briefed on the operation by the administration, said there was a risk that the U.S. troops "could be drawn into a more active role, and Americans lives will be lost."

He said that ultimately the problem would require the political collaboration of the governments in the region.

Obama, in his letter to Congress, said that "although the U.S. forces are combat-equipped, they will only be providing information, advice and assistance to partner-nation forces, and they will not themselves engage LRA forces unless necessary for self defense."

The move, in a broad way, reflects the desire of the Obama administration to be more active in security operations in Africa.

The deployment has been planned for months and grew out of legislation signed this year supporting increased U.S. efforts to help protect civilians from the Lord's Resistance Army, officials said.

After three years of incremental assistance to the Ugandan government, including the presence of some unarmed counter-terrorism advisors, the White House made the decision to ramp up its efforts in an attempt to take out Kony and end his reign of terror in the area, said a U.S. intelligence official who spoke on condition of anonymity.

"If we are going to do this, let's not do it half-assed. Let's go in and try to wipe this guy out," the official said.

The Green Berets will work with regional armies to help protect people in isolated hamlets who have been preyed upon by the militia. The plan is, among other things, to help track the movements of the guerrillas and share intelligence from communications intercepts and satellite imagery.

Also, U.S. forces will help deliver communications gear to villagers, including cellphone towers and high-frequency radios that will enable them to notify the authorities when the Lord's Resistance Army swoops in.

Inspired by a combination of mysticism and eccentric Christian rhetoric, Kony, who is about 50, is on the U.S. terrorist list and is wanted by the International Criminal Court on charges of crimes against humanity committed in two decades of civil war in northern Uganda.

The LRA has displaced about 400,000 civilians and has carried out an estimated 2,400 attacks and 3,400 abductions since 2008.

Though U.S. officials say there is no intention to involve the troops in battle, some African governments are likely to ask whether this is an exception to traditional American foreign policy of avoiding military involvement in sub-Saharan Africa, a region where the United States is generally thought to have humanitarian but not strategic interests.

One Senate aide said he expected Congress to be divided on the intervention, with some members concerned that the mission could expand if its limited objectives were not accomplished quickly.

"It is essential for the president to consult with Congress about any deployment of our military forces into harm's way. I regret that this was not done," said Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.).

The act that set the mission in motion had substantial congressional support, including 201 cosponsors in the House and 64 in the Senate.

There was some immediate support from Congress for the White House decision.
Rep. Jeff Fortenberry (R-Neb.) praised the move, saying it "may save innocent lives."

image by Invisible Children. More information on how to support putting an end to Joseph Kony can be found at invisiblechildren.com

relax

relax |riˈlaks|   verb   make or become less tense or anxious : [ intrans. ] he relaxed and smiled confidently | [as adj. ] ( relaxing) a relaxing vacation.• [ intrans. ] rest or engage in an enjoyable activity so as to become less tired or anxious : the team relaxes with a lot of skiing.• [ trans. ] cause (a limb or muscle) to become less rigid : relax the leg by bringing the knee toward the chest.• make (something) less firm or tight : Cicely relaxed her hold.• [ trans. ] make (a rule or restriction) less strict while not abolishing it : they persuaded the local authorities concerned to relax their restrictions.DERIVATIVESrelaxer nounORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin relaxare, from re-(expressing intensive force) + laxus ‘lax, loose.’
i look blank-stared at people sometimes when they are talking because everything they are saying makes me want to scream, "JUST RELAX!", but i relent. i do not listen very well in those moments. i find myself absent from their space and relaxing in my own daydream. it is a flaw on my part but it also keeps me from being sucked down into overly wound up, anxious, tense, life draining interactions. if i knew what people were going to talk about i would navigate better and would not have such poor social etiquette, but i am not a mind reader, so i accept my inability to navigate through burdensome, verbal projectile. i know i need to relax more. anxiety and tiredness rob me of restful sleep. when i choose to stop, sit, kick up my feet, drink a cold drink, watch people, read a good book, and just be, i am a healthier person. i think when we include relaxing in our everyday, we are better people for each other. relax. relax! just relax! JUST RELAX!

I reject Columbus Day...

"They...brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned...They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features...They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They had no iron. Their spears are made of cane...They would make fine servants...With fifty men we could subjugate [over-power] them and make them do whatever we want." 

-Excerpts from Columbus's ship log

I want mail to come. I do not want people to have the day off. If we are to take a paid holiday today, then let it be Arawak Day. We have far more to learn from them than we do from Columbus, Hitler, or Joseph Kony. I wonder what children learn today. Do they learn of the seaman or the murderer, the civilized or the monster, the lies or the truth? I remember making paper boats and headdresses out of construction paper. I remember the teacher asking if anyone's ancestors came over on one of Columbus's ships. I remember that teachers never asked if anyone's ancestors were "Indians". I wonder if the teachers knew the truth and were miseducating, or if they were miseducated themselves. I don't know that it matters. It is reality. We must know the truth of our history if we are ever going to become changed. I do not believe we are better than our history, but i believe we can make far better decisions. Christopher Columbus was a man who made a lot of decisions and out of those decisions the genocide to the Arawak people occurred. When Columbus led the search for gold in 1495 there were 250,000 Arawaks. Within 2 years due to murder and suicide that number dropped to 125,000. By 1550 only 500 Arawaks remained. The Arawak people came to greet Columbus with gifts and great curiosity. There should not be a holiday for Columbus, or any monster of history for that matter. Today I honor the Arawak People. I remember their trust, bravery, simplicity, and life of peace.

connection

there is something sweet about the word connection
knowing you belong and are safe within your surroundings
as the day drew to an end and the night sky blanketed our home
we sat together on the couch as a family
our second daughter kindly asked our youngest daughter
if she could sit next to "dad" tonight
quickly our youngest answered with, "no"
in that moment i had a quick decision to make
instead of sitting on the end of the couch
i squeezed myself between the two of them
those quick decisions can make
all the difference in the world
connection